Until We Meet Again

‎10 years ago today I lost my Dad. I have thought a lot about him these past few days. It is hard to believe that it has been so long. Much has changed since. For months afterward, I would pick up the phone and begin to call to talk to him. Sometimes, I would make it almost all the way through. I am a firm believer though that people are put in your life for a reason. The life I had with him was not the fodder you would have seen on an after school special. But, I think maybe this week, someone was trying to teach me a lesson. Something I did not really get when he was alive because the words didn't match the meaning. So, I get it now Dad. One day I hope to tell you thanks in person. But, hopefully not anytime soon. I have a lot of work to get done down here first. I have kids of my own now and a new life I need to begin living. Not everything is perfect, but then again, when is it ever. There is no perfect life. Only moments in it that are. What is said or done takes precedence in such a way that no matter where you are or what you are doing, that one thing stands out above all others and is perfect in it's own way. That's as close as we get here. And although most people would think I am nuts, I know you have stopped by when you knew I needed you there. Don't think I didn't recognize. I tell my son who barely knew you and my girls who never did about the man I called "Dad." I know sometimes, that's all a grandchild gets; memories of memories. Til then Dad.

Tomorrow will come

Tomorrow will come. Words will be spoken. Some in love, some in hate. Anger, anguish, and empathy will come to your life. You will find that you will live with regret and you will live with repentance. But above all of these things, you must come to live with yourself. You have to live with the person you told yourself you were when you were young and naive, and what you became as you became older and cynical. You have to decide what was realistic to dream and what was foolish to believe. Because what you were may define you as a person, but it does not mean that you have to be that person for the rest of your life. So don't let where you have been make you who you think you have to be for the rest of your life.

Part of HBO Documentary on integration in college football

     It is the hope of humanity that one day a man be known for the weight of his deeds rather than the color of his skin or the name of his God. 

The Gentle Words of We're Alright

     I remember as a child the great energy crisis. Now I can't say that I remember the lines of cars lined down the road waiting for what little bit of gas there was to be dispensed to the masses. A we were to find out years later, a story more built upon fabrication the actual truth. What it really pinpointed to a generation were many variable faults we have a country. As I became old enough to understand the reasons why so many things occurred in the 70s and the glaring faults that it showed and still shows to this day.

     Pan back to the late 70s. Jimmy Carter is President. The man who had beaten Gerald Ford had inherited a nation in shambles. Unemployment was rampant, there was little fuel to be had and America wanted answers. Ford had been the unfortunate casualty in the Nixon scandal and although a truly honest and caring man; I don't know short of being the messiah himself would he have won an election. So here we are, in the hands of a peanut farmer from Georgia. I kind and gentle man who although was in the Navy, looked like his ability to hurt one living thing was next to impossible. Towards the end of a tumultuous presidency, I remember 2 glaring things that in my eyes defined him more than anything else. One was naturally the hostage situation in Iran. Trying so desperately to overcome his shortcomings as a "World Leader", most had truly begun to lose faith in him to do anything. Even though he had accomplished peace through the Camp David Accords, his inability to rescue his own countryman was weighing heavy upon him. The other thing that I remember was a speech that he gave during the energy crisis where he appears on the screen wearing a sweater and asks his fellow Americans to turn down their thermostat and dress warmer. People were livid and Republicans had all they needed to fuel the citizens ire. How dare he tell us we can't be warm. It brings to light something that I have long sit and thought of. Although I was never a Carter fan. In fact, I feel he may very well be one of the worst 5 Presidents we have ever had; but why would anger so much at a man who asked of us what our parents asked of us every time we told them we were cold? Was this not the father of our country at the time telling us that maybe we could do our part and just dress warmer and save just a bit? Yet for that, poor Jimmy was fed to the wolves for his lose in confidence of the country. 

     Then in walks a man with the belief of the red, white, and blue. A man so striking it was if Gutzon Borglum had first chiseled into Mt. Rushmore and then brought him down to us to have. His name naturally was Ronald Reagan. An actor who at one time was known more for co-starring with a chimp than his political prowess. But nevertheless, the man best suited for the task at hand. Let us rebuild our country because in so many ways, we are fine. It isn't so bad if you look at it the right way. It was day and night comparing these two. Carter was Mr. Rogers while Reagan was John Wayne. One wanted to read you a book while the other would as soon punch you in the mouth for not going his way. Reagan was a man who demanded respect although he never asked for it. Although his persona gave a "ah shucks" attitude in many ways, it was like having that grandfather that was good to you unless you disobeyed him. Then you knew you got the belt or the switch. And what would Reagan do? He would build a suitable Army from the one decimated from Vietnam. He would bring America back to the forefront as World Leader. Above all, he would make Americans proud to be Americans and he would defeat those evil Soviets along the way. 

     Reagan accomplished a great deal of those things along the way. Most will say he defeated the Soviets which in many ways he did. He simply spent them into the ground in all actuality. He created a pace of defense spending that they simply could not keep up with. And even though unemployment was never unearthly low, he managed to give Americans a pride that the past 10-15 years had simply erased from existence. I am not here to say Reagan wasn't all he was cracked up to be. In fact, I feel he was one of the greatest Presidents ever. I think he was the man for the job at the time. But as I get older and am able to see things more clearly, I find that there are certain glaring things that I feel make things fuzzier than just black and white. 

       What Carter told us years ago wasn't earth shattering. Cold? Put on a sweatshirt. Did you ever hear your parents say that? What was the difference. I guess you can't elect your parents, but you can surely elect your President. Cold? Yes, and I don't want to hear put on more clothes because when I was a kid that was what I was told and I remember that and I hated it. So, if you say that, I will vote against you. During the 70s I remember my aunt having a Chevy so long that it should have never been road worthy without a captain and a crew. We built these huge vehicles to take us around when no one had money to fill them and they barely stayed running anyhow. Meanwhile, these little Datsun cars were showing up everywhere. They were tiny, got great mileage and they ran forever. What is going on? Why are these electric games showing up? Made in Japan? Didn't we just blow all those guys up like 30 years ago?

     We only want to hear what we want to hear. And to me, it is sad. We elect people who have all the answers. At least that is what every one of them tells us. I know what is wrong and I can fix it. Because if for one brief moment, you tell them, hey, I don't know this means, it's over. And for that, we suffer as a nation. For whatever reason, we don't elect a President, we elect a Grandpa. Now I know that certain people don't fit the Grandpa mold, but the concept is still the same. For so many the only concern is for them to have someone to hold their hand, give them a cookie and tell them everything is going to be okay. I doesn't have to be true. It just has to be said. I think although many men have given speeches that aroused patriotism, FDR became America's Grandfather. That he could tell the country we would prevail regardless the hardship. Unfortunately, that message did a great deal of damage to our own psyche. We now have to think that someone else has the answers. Maybe we should have the answers. Maybe instead of needing to elect someone that says he knows how to fix everything, we need to find someone who tells us not everything can be fixed. At least not the way you want it fixed. Are we too afraid to be told that we aren't alright? Are we too scared to say we're scared?  Did honesty become a four letter word overnight and no one bothered to release a memo? Instead of people finding blame and anger in those around them, maybe they should first ask themselves a few glaring questions. Does government belong in business? Does government belong in funding of everything? Why do you want no regulation on business when times are great and all regulation when times are hard? Simple, because when someone tells you that you can make money, and then you can make wads more if we just eliminate some of these petty rules, you are all for it. When those petty rules are misused and the result is that you are fleeced of your riches then you want those rules back. Playing the market is in many ways, no different than walking in the Wynn and betting it all on black. When you win you gripe about paying the taxes, but when you lose, you ask that someone look into that wheel because it was rigged and you want your money back. We have in many ways become a nation of people who don't understand why we fall behind. We fall behind because we are complacent. Or for a lack of words, fat and happy. We only get ourselves in gear when we fall way behind. In essence, the tortoise and the hare of the free world. 

     So the next time you go to put the next person in office, I hope you think about what someone has told you. What you want to hear, or what you need to hear.